Sunday, July 9, 2023

This gift I wish to give you…draft no. 4

This gift I wish to give you…, draft no. 3

This gift choosing

is so hard

You can’t imagine how long it took me

while I stood in the aisle

of Target. Or was it

Marshalls? Or was it Hobby Lobby? Or—

I’ve been to so many

I can’t say exactly --wherever it was I spent

an hour--

I think it might have been more than an


shopping for you

because I love you and I have never had

the words to show it.


But this Christmas, after pausing so long in

the aisle of whatever store that was

I brought the gift home


(actually, I had purchased two

to hedge my bets

because more than anything I really wished

to give you the gift you really wanted,

the gift that you wouldn’t take back

the gift that had

your name already written on it)


and when I brought the bag home

with these gifts

that I had more than enough

money to buy, I realized

that they would rust and crumble,

lose their curb appeal,

before the wrappers even hit

the floor


I took one back


[long pause]


and gave the other


I really wanted you to have the gift

you wanted


Why was I so sad that I could not

give that to you,

when the season I am celebrating

is about a gift that was so perfect,

so well-fitting, so true

and good and permanent

that it would never cross your mind to

refuse it, if you saw it the way it is?


I don’t know if there is a possibility

of a chance that anyone,

if they saw the gift as it truly is,

would turn it away without knowing they

had turned away their very soul


I can’t give you the gift

that I want you to have,

but I know who can