Thursday, January 11, 2018

Can we talk golf balls?

For Humana employee "for sale" board by Jen Hunt

Can we talk golf balls?
Hi, my name is Alden. I’m eight years old, and I’m in an awkward situation. You see, my grandparents and great-grandma are snow birds, and they’re due back any day now. It’s great having them nearby in the summer . . . but now that grandpa’s retired, I think he has too much free time.

How do I know?
Because Grandpa’s always looking for excuses to get out of the house. Sure, golf helps--he plays twice a week. But apparently even that’s not enough time away from the women-folk. So when he’s not playing golf, he’s hunting for lost balls. Then, to justify this use of time, he passes his finds on to me every time we visit. “Here, go earn some money with these,” he says. (Wish it were that easy). Anyway, now I have a whole laundry basket full of grandpa’s finds. Mom is worried they will take over our garage.

Folks, these really are very fine balls, as used golf balls go. I oughtta know, I had to wash them all by hand. I’ve tried selling them the old fashioned way with a permanent sign outside our duplex and setting up a booth at Mom’s garage sales, but now I think it’s time I got serious. After all, I’m itching for a new computer so I can use Skype with my Aunt Jeni in San Francisco and play video games at warp speed.

So now, Humana friends, for a limited time only (limited, that is, by how soon my mother will clean them out of the garage), you can buy a dozen perfectly good golf balls for just $2.00. Even better, buy five dozen for $10. You won’t even have to leave your beautiful building. What a deal!

When you buy your used golf balls direct from me, you’ll naturally save money. But I’d wager that even your swing will improve knowing you are contributing to three great causes: my granddad’s sense of purpose, a cleaner garage for my mom, and a new computer for yours truly.

Just call Graham at x----- to reserve your order. No need to get out of your car in those iffy parts of town. No need to pay the steep mark ups at the pro shop. Saving money never felt so easy!

Courtesy of Mom’s Marketing