Saturday, September 7, 2013

The REBT Rap

If you want to know the secret of a happy, happy life
There’s a therapy I’ll teach you—put an end to all yer strife
Now I’m no Albert Einstein, I think you may agree
There is somethin’ kind of special ‘bout REBT theory

‘Cause having perfect children, perfect worlds or perfect me’s
Has been slightly overrated, says the other Albert E.

Well, my son plugged his ears tightly when he heard my sorry best
So I might not win a stint or two as poet laureate
Or a Mustang or a scholarship that pays off this degree
But just getting’ out and trying will be good enough for me

‘Cause having perfect children, perfect worlds or perfect me’s
Has been slightly overrated, so says REB&T

I think ol’ Mr. Ellis would be proud of you and me
For thinkin’ up a ditty based on his philosophy
So practical ‘n’ thoughtful and as graceful as could be
Blending therapist instruction with a dose of empathy

Now R it stands for Rational, but don’t make no mistake
It’s not just because it’s used on Vulcans, ‘goodness sake
If you interview yer clients and you find they “musterbate”
“Crying positively awful!” get ‘em help ‘for it’s too late!

E is fer Emotive ‘cause ol’ Ellis became sad
When too many peers assumed this tool was rigid, cold and bad
So he put E in the title just to help his critics see
Many more could use his theory than the Spock on Trek TV

B stands fer, well, this time perhaps you all should tell me
Behavior’l—Yes! Exactly! How to change your crooked deeds
It seems if you identify and shift yer unseen lies
You’re bound to git more mental health than honey catches flies



The fourth and final letter, as you’ve guessed, is Mr. T
For Therapy of present tense and thoughts you cannot see
Which muck up your composure and increase all of your pain
Getting you stuck in dumb circles over and over again.

Yes, having perfect children, perfect worlds or perfect me’s
Has been slightly overrated, so says REB&T.

This rap may not’ve helped you, but I know it sure helped me
To eliminate foul thinkin’ and avoid some misery
I could’ve stayed up fretting ‘bout what I must say to you
To prove that I was perfect, like neurotic students do

Instead I took a breather and replaced that faulty lie
So my sleepin’ got much sounder, ‘cause I knew I wouldn’t die
If this part couldn’t be polished before I got me here today
And was boring, or your snoring threw my genius down the drain (drain?)

Sure, the rhyming could be sweeter and the meter could as well
But if you say you can do better, you can just…! ...I’ll just try to tell myself
“I might be slightly bummed out, but there’s no catastrophe”
‘Cause this Albert here has proven you’re as imperfect as me!

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